Deconstruction is good; but it isn’t helpful if you don’t rebuild your faith properly. Friend of Sinners by Rich Wilkerson, Jr. is the perfect book to rediscover your passion for Jesus. Wilkerson provides biblical truths and keeps the focus where it ought to be: Jesus, who loves us. If you are floundering and need a lifeline to faith, read this book.
About the book
As I said previously, I’ve stubbornly clung to the belief that God is good and cares for people deeply. Wilkerson provides biblical proof of this. He has a refreshing way of looking at common passages, and his words provide life-giving peace for weary souls. His interpretations and observations are different from what I’ve ever heard before – but they are accurate.
Wilkerson starts the book with four chapters on just the gospel. He peels back all the trappings of religion and just presents Jesus. His love. His power. And, of course, his passion. It’s the perfect balm to someone who is trying to rebuild their beliefs.
Next, Wilkerson spends three chapters on God’s mission – loving the world. That is his mission, his passion. And he wants it to be ours – which is what the last three chapters are about.
This book is not deeply theological, but it’s one of the most powerful things I’ve read in a long time. It’s full of grace and truth. No condemnation – none.
And yet, I was inspired to think differently about topics I’ve always understood. Not because I felt I had to do so; but from an overflow of newfound passion for Jesus.
Jesus’ Yoke
Even though I grew up in church, Wilkerson has a new-to-me interpretation for almost every passage he writes about. The one that stood out the most was when Jesus talks about his “yoke”:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~ Matt. 11:28-30
I’ve always struggled with this passage. I never understood how Jesus could say his yoke is easy and his burden light. I’ve heard before that Jesus was referring to how heavy the yoke of the Pharisees was. That always made sense to me; after all, Jesus’ yoke was certainly lighter than the Pharisees’ rules.
But, as many who are deconstructing can tell you, Evangelicals have many rules of their own that feel just as heavy. Throughout my faith journey, I never felt I was enough. Good enough, strong enough, wise enough. None of it. Jesus’ yoke was just too heavy for me.
What Wilkerson Has to Say
But see how Wilkerson explains this passage:
“A yoke is a wooden instrument placed on two oxen so they can plow a field in tandem. The goal of the yoke is to accomplish more by working together….[Jesus’] yoke keeps us attached to him. His yoke keeps us in step with him. His yoke keeps us pointed where he is going. His yoke makes our burdens bearable and our journey enjoyable. Taking his yoke upon us isn’t about pulling more weight. It’s about letting him pull our weight. He will carry what we could never carry.”[1]
It’s not up to me to be enough. You don’t know how freeing those words are. And of course, Evangelical teaching agrees with that; but the practical side of conservative Evangelical doctrine is that Jesus’ yoke just becomes different rules of how to live life.
The yoke of Jesus isn’t new rules; it’s simply letting him do…everything. The guiding, the changing, the rule following – it’s all on him.
Now, it’s important to note that I always imagined it as a single yoke. I, Xandra, was taking on Jesus’ yoke by myself. But I’m not exchanging one burden for another. I’m being given a partner who has a deep and passionate love for me, who will help me bear whatever I have to bear in this world. Yes, that will change my behavior in regards to sin; but change begins slowly, and it springs from the heart – after we’ve been passionately loved.
Knowing that Christianity’s rules are not the yoke – that instead I’m simply walking beside Jesus, who takes the brunt of it – makes all the difference in the world.
God’s Mission and How We Fit In
Jesus is in a loving relationship with us. We are his passion. As Christians, we work with Jesus to spread his message of love to a weary world.[2] We do this by finding what we have a passion for and then sharing Jesus through that.[3]
This isn’t new. Most of us understand this concept and recognize it as a pillar of Evangelical teaching. However, Wilkerson points out things about Jesus that are significantly different than I’ve heard before.
Jesus had passion for others. And yet, he wasn’t pushy or overbearing. People flocked to him; only the Pharisees and well-to-do were repulsed. Wilkerson points out, “he was normal enough that children liked to hang out with him and sinners invited him to dinner. Yet he was radical enough to change the course of history….Somehow Jesus was radically normal.”[4]
So, what would happen if we were radically normal? What if we lived out our passion and shared the passion of Jesus in the process? And what if people we deemed “sinners” wanted to spend time with us?
Now, Wilkerson acknowledges this might be uncomfortable, and he has a whole chapter addressing this.[5] But just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done.
A Quick Anecdote
Before I had kids, I worked for a wonderful Baptist church. An IT guy (not my husband) came to fix some issue we were having. We started talking, and I mentioned I played D&D. He was astounded. Literally, his mouth fell open in shock. He thought Christians were opposed to D&D. (To be fair, many are. I used to be one of those Christians – but that’s a different story.) As I left for the day, the IT guy mentioned how excited he was that I, a Christian, played D&D.
Why am I sharing this?
Because this was a normal interaction. It might have been nerdy, but it wasn’t cringe. And somewhere, some IT guy knows that Christians aren’t as stuffy as he thought; that maybe they’d accept someone like him.
And that maybe God isn’t about rules and regulations like He’s so often portrayed. Maybe He’s about relationship. (Because honestly, D&D is ALL about relationships.)
I don’t know how the IT guy’s faith journey will end; but I know he had a brush with God that day. The tragic thing was, I didn’t recognize it. My co-worker did. She was so excited, saying I made a difference in his life. But I had been so indoctrinated into Evangelical ways – as in, it’s not evangelism unless you bring up Jesus – that I didn’t even recognize it.
Sharing Jesus after Deconstructing
As deconstructing Evangelicals, we know how we’ve evangelized in the past. If you’re deconstructing, chances are you aren’t a fan of those methods. And chances are, you probably aren’t noticing the very “radically normal” ways you’re influencing people for Christ all around you.
Every little action of kindness can show a hurting and broken world Jesus’ love. Each and every little action can let the world know that Jesus loves it. And invariably your faith journey will come up, even if it’s as simple as saying, “I’m a Christian.”
I think the best part of being radically normal is that it must start small.
We share Christ in how we treat our children, especially when they exhibit triggering behaviors; for how we treat them is how they will treat others. We share Christ in how we treat retail/food service workers; for that shows how we treat people we have power over. Naturally, it’s seen in what companies we support and the causes we champion; for that shows where our passions are.
All of it is part of the mission – the mission to show others Jesus’ love and passion for them.
So…what is your passion? Find it. And live loudly in it. God will see to the rest.
Notes
[1] Rich Wilkerson, Friend of Sinners: Why Jesus Cares More about Relationship than Perfection (Nashville, TN: Nelson Books, an imprint of Thomas Nelson, 2018), 52-53.
[2] Ibid. 99
[3] Wilkerson, 158; 166-169
[4] Ibid. 179
[5] Chapter 9
