“You have captured my heart, my sister, my bride. You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.” ~ Song of Solomon 4:9
For the next few weeks I’ll be writing on weddings. I know they’re not technically fairy tales…but every girl dreams of her “fairy tale ending,” and so I feel justified in this blogging topic. More than that, I need to write about it. A wedding is a strange beast, both joyful and stressful. I need help wrapping my head around some of these stresses. But mostly, I desperately want to find God in the midst of them.
I never dreamed of my wedding growing up. I dreamed of my fairy tale ending – of meeting a handsome man, falling in love, getting married, and having children; but the idea of a wedding was never really part of the fantasy. Marriage was a natural step toward “happily ever after,” but a wedding was not.
To be completely honest, I have a great distaste for weddings – or at least what our culture calls “weddings.” The “weddings” of our culture are vulgar and garish if you buy the lies this world pedals. A woman is told that her wedding should be the “perfect day” – but more than that, it’s said that she deserves that perfect day. We are told it’s all about us, and everything should go our way.
Now, let me clarify: everyone WILL need to remember that it is the couple’s wedding, not theirs; however, the mentality of “it’s all about me” has gone overboard in our culture. The wedding industry has made billions of dollars off of brides who are striving for their perfect day. It is also one of the few times when people get highly insulted if ridiculous etiquette details are overlooked. This is a poisonous potion of disaster, for that means everyone on that day is focused on themselves and their own interests. No wonder tensions run high.
The Wedding Lie – the lie that on that blessed day, everything should be perfect as the radiant bride walks down the aisle toward her groom – has infiltrated every aspect of our society. What’s more, even Christians have bought into this lie.
What a crafty Lie it is, and from the father of lies, no less; for the Lie contains a singular truth and is based on a divine yearning. One day all will be perfect as the radiant Bride walks toward her Groom; our hearts know this, and so we long for that perfection to be realized. The yearning is not wrong, but the way we act because of it is.
I get teary as I write this – for it is just like the Enemy to take something so beautiful and warp it into something so distasteful as the American wedding.
The truth is, a real wedding has nothing to do with the bride or the groom; it has to do with our Heavenly Bridegroom, who is waiting to take His Bride home. One day, Jesus the Christ will come for His Bride – and all will be perfect and the Bride will be radiant. God will fulfill our yearning. We don’t deserve a perfect day; but we will get one because of the Cross, and it will be marvelous.
A wedding is an allegory to our relationship with God (Hos. 2:16-23, Eph. 5:25-27, Rev. 19:7-8), and the Lie twists that truth by making it about us. If the couple loses focus of the true meaning of a wedding, then things begin to unravel. These past four months have brought me face to face with the Lie and the Truth. With two months to go, I’m still fighting. I have my victories and my defeats; but through it all, Andrew and I strive to focus on Christ and glorify Him on our wedding day.